Presiders and Deciders

With President’s Day just around the corner; and with more presidential candidates popping up daily – not to mention the media’s reminding us almost as often that the United States is now starting on the longest presidential campaign in our history, it seemed time to talk about things presidential. First off the list – and what could be more presidential? – is the word “president.”

I’ve often wondered how George Washington (one of this month’s two famous presidential birthday boys), came to adopt this term. Up until 1787 no ruling authority in any land had ever been called anything but some form of “king” (from the Old English, “cyning” (pron: kooning), which came from the ancient root, “gen,” for “family” or “kin”); or “queen” (derived from the Indo-European root, “gwen,” for “woman” – though in Old English, the word, “cwene,” pronounced “queen,” also meant both “wife” AND “prostitute.” Hmmm.) But our country’s founders felt that all monarchs were “inherently evil,” according to Jospeh Ellis in his “Founding Fathers.” In fact, the American Revolution had been fought to RID our country of such monarchs, so a new word for the position was absolutely imperative. “Republican king,” the original term, according to Ellis, was not it.

“President” according to Dictionary.com, goes back to the 14th century, when it meant “governor;” some scholar back then must have combined the Latin words, “prae” (in front of) with “sidere” (to sit) to define the job: “to act as head or chief.” In essence, a president is supposed to “preside,” or supervise, be in charge of, or officiate. (There were many more synonyms listed in Roget’s New Millennium thesaurus, but I did not see “wiretap without permission” anywhere on the list.)

Up until President Washington took on the title,, there had been college presidents as far back as 1464, and presidents of individual colonies starting in Pocahontas’s Virginia in 1608. But 1787 marks the first use of “president” meaning Chief Executive Officer of a republic.
Notice the verbal distinction between an authority figure meant to “preside” rather than “rule.” In preside, there’s an element of reasoned control rather than the often whimsical and selfish motives so often the legacy of kings.

Cut to 218 years later, however, and we have President Bush referring to himself as “The Decider,” a term he uttered at a press conference in April 2006, when he declared that as The Decider he would keep Donald Rumsfeld on as Secretary of Defense. “The Decider” still sounds funny, or stupid, or both. To me, it sounds childish – a three-year-old just learning how to speak might see that his mom cooks, so she’s the cooker; or that his dad shaves, so he’s the shaver. George Bush thinks, I decide – so I’m the Decider. In fact, most adults would have gone with the more standard “Decision Maker.” Better yet, how about The Presider – one who could emanate a quiet but confidant authority – something like a leader.

But now that the longest presidential campaign in history has begun, let’s take a Language Lady-look at what’s going on with two of the most talked-about candidates:

Rhymes with Iraq
At my fingertips as a I write is a February 9, 2007 copy of the German-language, Swiss newspaper supplement, Das Magazin, and I thought I’d share some of the terms the cover story uses to describe the newly announced presidential Democratic candidate from Illinois: The subtitle of the article says that this candidate is “jung” (pronounce “j” as “y” and it sounds just like our same word, “young”), schwartz (black) and perhaps the “nachste” (pronounced “next-eh”) Mann im Weissen Haus (man in the White House). Barack Obama, the magazine says, is “der Superstar” of “amerikanischen Politik” (American politics) and “bringt” (brings) “Schwitzen” (sweat) to, or rather, is making female Presidental candidate Hillary Clinton break out in a sweat.

Das Magazin reporter Peter Haffner then starts the main text by saying that the candidate’s first name rhymes with Iraq; that his middle name recalls that of a recently hanged dictator; and that his last name sounds similar to the most sought-after terrorist in the world; and that all together, Barack Hussein Obama is the phonetic embodiment of the American nightmare. And yet, the article adds, this man has a good chance of being President Bush’s successor.

Not only successor: The title of the article is “Der Erloser,” or The Savoir.” Yes, as in Jesus. I wondered, given how closely German and English are related, just how “Erloser,” with LOSER so central and prominent, could mean something so opposite. The German word, “losen,” with an umlaut over the “o” making it sound more like “loozen,” means to “untie,” or “loosen,” or basically, to come undone. But stick the prefix “er” on it and it makes it the opposite: to bring together, unite – or, in a bigger context, to redeem and save.

Now, In addition to calling himself The Decider, our current president --the most polarizing president in recent history – also claimed he was “a uniter” (In a May 1999 interview Bush said: “I showed the people of Texas that I'm a uniter, not a divider. I refuse to play the politics of putting people into groups and pitting one group against another.”) Well, I suppose we should be grateful that he hasn’t claimed to be anything more grandiose. Whether Barack – who openly refers to God and his personal faith in the Almighty – ever calls himself “The Savior” remains to be seen.

Rhymes with Pillory
Then there is Hillary. Last fall, prior to the November elections, our senator’s “Re-elect Hillary” posters and bumper stickers deliberately left off her maiden and married last name. With the single name, “Hillary,” she joined the ranks of such last-name-less celebs as Cher, Madonna, and (at least for now) Britney, Paris, and Lindsay; that way, we could almost forget that the former Hillary Rodham was married to the scandal-tainted, former President Bill Clinton. Hillary, it seems, wanted to be re-elected as Herself.

But now that Hillary has declared herself an official Democratic presidential candidate, the little words “Rodham” and/or “Clinton” are creeping onto her campaign posters and other paraphernalia. “Hillary” still dominates but perhaps she now wants the possible booster-connection to her hubby, who these days is widely seen as a post-Katrina humanitarian, a man of the people, and a down-home boy, whose intern-related disgrace nine years ago seems, after six years of Bush-patrol, pretty innocuous.

But whatever Hillary does, it seems she does the wrong thing. Her decisions seem so connected to polls or the majority opinion that, when those opinions change, she changes her stance faster than a driver trying to avoid a dog in the road. If she leaves Bill’s name off her posters one time, the next thing you know, she puts him on. If she puts on a strong, assertive front to win the senate seat, the next thing you know she’s being told she’s too masculine in her efforts, that she should take advantage of her femininity. Next thing you know, she’s in Iowa meeting with women in someone’s living room. If she’s told she’s too cold and ambitious, then she attempts warm and fuzzy; but when her official HillaryClinton.com website came out a few weeks ago, reviewers derided her as fake and a poor actor.

Maybe Hillary simply wants no enemies. But it comes off as is The Vacilator. Or the Greatest Common (and Power-Amassing) Denominator.

Just last week the fashion designer Donnatella Versace chimed in, saying that Hillary should stop wearing pants,* especially in blue, and go for knee-length dresses instead. No doubt Hillary will be soon sighted looking like some Breakfast at Tiffany’s “Hillary” Golightly in a not-so-sleek black, knee-length cocktail dress.

But even if Hillary happens to wear some tasteful, fitted suit, someone will no doubt make some crack about her having fat legs or fleshy knees, and she’ll revert to *trousers:” (Donnatella actually used the word, “trousers,” which the British seem to favor over our “pants;” “trousers” comes from the Scottish Gaelic “triubhas,” the name for the tight-fitting breeches worn (sometimes) under men’s tartan kilts).

You could say that Hillary is a real sucker for words – that is, other peoples’ words. It would be great if we could have a woman president, and one we could dub The Listener – who could listen to other experts and make well-informed decisions. What we don’t need is a Chief Executive Hearer. The difference between “hearing” and “listening,” as with “seeing” and “looking,” is a question of focus and attention. And we don’t need a President who behaves like a hearing aid that picks up all the background noise and none of the foreground.

As for Das Magazin’s jibe that Barack’s candidacy is making Hillary break out in a sweat, my father would have begged to disagree: “Horses sweat; men perspire; and ladies … glow,” he liked to remind me.

But back when ladies glowed, a women and a black man were not running for president. We’ve still got about 600 days to go, so it’s a bit early for any of us to be Deciders on Winners. So I say, Hail to the Chief Presider, whoever (s)he may be!